Saturday, February 5, 2011

Homosex is the Onlysex

It would be really sweet if I was gay. I have gone over it in my head time and time again, and the pros seem to outweigh the cons. I will draw it out for you:

-Don't need to deal with stupid fucking women
-Bromances have yet to let me down
-No babies
-Talk with an adorable inflection / lisp (Or have an excuse for my awful voice)
-Make a lot of female friends and help them try on bras like in those movies...although I guess if I was gay I wouldn't really find that as exciting...SHUT UP, it's a perk okay
-Become a master at interior design
-Become a master at cooking (I imagine these 2 to be genetically inherited gay traits)
-Be able to F-block in public and have it be acceptable
-All the cool kids are doing it
-Sweet annual parade
-Excuse to not go to the South
-I use the word 'faggot' very liberally. Now this would become more acceptable.

-Being railed in the pooper
-Being associated with Ellen DeGeneres

If gay was a choice, the winner is pretty obvious, 12 to 2? Not even close, and I was probably missing some Pros. Take that, procreation.

No comments:

Post a Comment